so it's been a minute since i've updated this site. i've been working a lot, just in general, but i'm also starting to work on music again. a lot of things have happened in my life recently, and i'm starting to feel like i'm more comfortable with who i am and various things, maybe. there's just been a lot happening.

currently it's 2:39 am and i have to be at work at 10 am. awesome.

anyway. i don't know if or when new music will come out. but i wrote quite a few new songs. i was going to make this next album just the new songs, but i think combining them with the older material is going to make it sound more. emotionally "effective" maybe. it's 16 tracks right now and i have no idea if i want it to be longer or shorter. leaning toward the former because i haven't really done that yet and i like the idea of an album that sorta feels like a journey in and of itself.

i think my goal in general, though, is to just have this series of albums really connect with each other in that way. for people to be able to listen to them in a row and really feel like there is some sort of narrative going on. i don't know. i just hope people like the music, really. i hope people understand what i want to say. i hope i do too.

i've started to go to therapy and stuff. that's good, i hope. i've just tried to take a break from everything. sink myself into the world outside of being online. maybe it's helping, maybe it isn't. but i guess it's good that i'm doing music again because for a long time, i didn't really see myself ever putting out more. and i still might not for a long time. i'm very detail oriented.

i don't even think anyone is reading this. i'm rambling in the dark. who knows.

fuck.

you may notice, if anybody has ever even read this... thing... that things look a bit different. that's on purpose: this is the official launch of my new site: hoov.es. somehow i managed to get that domain, and i don't know how. but i'm here now, and you may see more things pop up here.

you may like it, you may not. but this is where i am going to be me, this is where i will host my music. while i haven't replaced the bandcamp links here yet, the bandcamp era will soon be over. i want to make my music completely free, and there will be no official payment method for my music (outside of its hosting on streaming, and that's just for its ease of access. its appearance on online stores is completely coincidental and i've never been paid for streaming music anyway. and i doubt i ever will be.)

i will be fully, completely defederated from everything. i'm planning on hosting streams and possibly more, which. while it may distract from the aesthetic, i think it'd be pretty cool, and it will be completely separated from the rest of the site.

i tried to make things a bit easier to read on this page as well, as well as making it more suitable for mobile (while not being some horrid overwrought modern mobile site). i also added a bit to my about page. there may be more announcements as well in the future, but i hope you enjoy the mk2.

i don't seem to write much here and maybe i should more or maybe i shouldn't. there was another blog i used to write on and i don't want to even look at it sometimes. i don't know why i'm up at 5 am writing this, or why i'm like this in general. i don't know who even cares about reading this. but i have my thinkpad on my lap right now so i thought i'd write something.

i went out to dinner tonight, that was nice. i love this canon 2 megapixel camera i got at the thrift store for $10, and had to get a new battery pack for. the only way to even get the pictures off the camera (without a complact flash reader which i don't have) is by plugging it into the thinkpad with windows xp, nothing else i tried worked whatsoever. maybe i should invest in a complact flash reader, but maybe i shouldn't. it's sort of cool to use the windows xp photo reader thing, i guess.

i'm trying to write more new music and stuff but idk it's coming a bit slowly. i have songs i like but we'll see how it goes, i guess. i don't know. i don't know what i want or really what direction i want to even go in. what i should even be writing about. maybe i'm too repetitive talking about how i wish desperately for my real body or whatever but idk. who knows. thanks for reading, i guess. i hope you're doing okay

i'm going to rant a little bit about tiktok. fuck tiktok. i maybe use it like, once every three months or something, because sometimes i'll get sent a video and maybe i'll want to try watching it because i get pestered or whatever. but i got a notification on my phone all of a sudden, for a tiktok called "kanye west has exposed EVERYTHING". now, for future context, kanye has recently been making incredibly anti-semitic statements as of late, and this person is pushing it as fact, plus the idea that andrew tate has been cancelled for knowing too much or whatever.

fuck you, tiktok. you're profiting off anti-semitism and racism, you're pushing that shit out to me and who knows how many others. and i know people are probably thinking that i must be watching racist or anti-semitic shit to have gotten that as a notification. fuck no, i rarely use tiktok. but whatever, i watched it, and i was sitting there, just thinking that maybe it'd be satirical and that there would be a punchline or something, but nope. no punchline.

fuck you tiktok, and fuck you kanye. fuck the nazis and fuck the right. and fuck anyone who tries to defend this shit.

nothing is really happening. i am thinking of new songs, even though i am about to drop an album anyway.

everything just feels like it exists.

i have had a better day than the last few

alright, so it's been a while. this site almost feels like something i'd just give up on after a few days, which, well, that's pretty much what it was. but, hey, i'm back! i've switched my setup up some - i found a thinkpad t42 at the thrift store, and i'm going to be using that from now on to update this site. but, yeah...

i've recorded a new album, and it's called "character", and it's meant a lot to me... i hope if anyone listens to it, they like it... there's ten tracks, and i think it's probably my best thing i've done so far, but then again music is subjective... you might fucking hate it. i hope not, though!

so i got this thing to work! i'm using neocities... for now, because it's free, and yes, free does beat having to pay for a domain name and a web server. i am a slave to convenience after all. anyway, yeah, this website is up, it's 4:30 in the morning almost, and here i am, just typing a new entry onto this blog/journal/early internet version of a "blog" or a "twitter" thing aaaggh

i did see The Batman earlier, actually a pretty damn solid and fun movie! 8.5/10.

maybe i should do more film reviews or something, huh.

a few mornings ago, i had a dream that i was a centaur, it didn't feel weird or anything but it just happened in my dream and it was fucking amazing in hindsight

i think i realized that when i woke up and was at a point between awareness and dreamstate when i knew what i was thinking more and tried to move my human legs like my horse ones and tried to stand on my hind hooves

maybe that's the line between lucidity and dreaming i need to... ahem, lucid dream

fuck, i don't care please let me become my real self i don't care what it takes just let me be ME

this war that's going on in ukraine is fucking scary

fuck the russian government

fuck putin

is all

i am hoping you are okay

i am hoping everything is wonderful

i don't know the reason

why i'm here

why you are

but i am happy anyway, i am happy for you now. i am deciding that the world seems to be perfect in every which way single form